Early one MORNING.....(i went for a walk)

What could I have eaten or smoked or drank to cause such tossings and turnings last night? As it was I lay blinking at the ceiling for a good hour, tried
watching a movie to trick my mind into letting me go back to sleep, but nothing doing....
SO I got up and went for a stroll along the river to find a place to write a letter to LITTLE FRIEDA....




It was relatively quiet ,for NYC, and I got some time to just think....Near the bridge there is a small stretch of "beach"...nothing like the beaches I grew up on, but I'll take what I can get....And as I was poking around on it I started to uncover all sorts of interesting finds in amoung the rocks and debris, left by a receding tide...








...I started to wonder if this stretch of riverside was filled in to make these trails, as I was finding things that looked pretty old....bottles, the proportions of which you don't see these days....Old pottery, layers of tile, cement, and rock, like bits of the walls in the subway had washed away in a flood....Like the tides coming in, were scraping away at the layers of debris...slowly drawing out its secrets...







I have a deep love for the FOUND OBJECT, so it is instinctual that I poke around at the waters edge...And I always marvel at how nature, especially the ocean or a large body of water, can reclaim garbage, or flotsam, and sift it through its fingers, softening it's edges, fading its colors, and create something so much more alive upon depositing it back on solid ground.....









..Or it brings something to us we have never seen....Though, actually I HAVE seen these before...at a really cool shop in SOHO called EVOLUTION, where they have all sorts of fascinating stuff, like the penis bones from mammals (yes, some really do have then..), to glass from lighting strikes, to fossils millions of years old...And these weird lil' dudes...which look like something from a Geiger painting...but are actually seedpods from some tree or plant indiginous to the Hudson River Valley area....




Or my favorite: this delicate lil' piece of crap....of barely any substance at all....








THE RIVER GIVETH....and the river taketh away....

CABIN-fever

Since getting fired from my job...unfairly, I might add, by people who apparently DO NOT know how to treat people with respect, I have gone through a whole range of emotions....I choose to see it as the universe cashing in that check that I wrote with my big fat mouth, the one regarding this as my last food service job EVER....I guess I have been much in need of a swift kick to the arse as to making this art-thing a career....I was enraged, but felt free...although, having no warning, I also had no cash....
Soon after I went into a nose-dive...worrying about said cash, what the fuck I was doing with my life, etc. (It's been a while since I've felt this way....). Finally I spent the whole day yesterday being self-indulgent, watching t.v. all day and eatin' snack-food...(though I made occasional forays into my room to work on bits of art, or send emails to possible jobs....).

Today I finally decided I need to get a bit of the FRESH (air), and so I sallied forth for what turned out to be a long walk north along the Hudson river....








If I lean out of my livingroom window I can see this lil' red lighthouse....I think it's the one at the end of the movie: INTO THE CUT (it's real good, if you haven't checked it out...Jane Campion), and just past it was this abandoned boat...instantly reminding me of me and SWEET PIXEL'S abandoned house adventures...It's odd seeing this right on the isle of Manhattan, but I had almost forgot I was in NYC while on my walk (walking near any body of water always tends to ground me when I feel scattered)....I even got up close and looked inside for clues...but there wasn't much to detect...








The sun was setting as everyone hurried home to New Jersey, over the George Washington ...Back to their homes, just I was thinking I needed to do...








Passing through the HEIGHTS, talking to my friend Ry-Ry on my celly, I saw that kind of light you get in the summer, starting to show we were moving into warmer times, when the sky just vibrates...My favorite time of day...








My friend RY-RY made me see the light, as he is in the same jobless predicament on the Other coast, that I need to stop seeing this as me being without the security of a job, and more about the limitless choices open to me, who knows what kinds of part-time work I might end up with, and all the free time to pursue my art besides...It's all my choice as to how I see this...Instead of draining myself with worry....
adventure is all around me right now...


When I came home I felt much better, calmer, and plesantly tired...I'm going to sleep much sounder tonight....Thank's RY-RY....and all my friends and family who have helped me with advice lately....