CABIN-fever

Since getting fired from my job...unfairly, I might add, by people who apparently DO NOT know how to treat people with respect, I have gone through a whole range of emotions....I choose to see it as the universe cashing in that check that I wrote with my big fat mouth, the one regarding this as my last food service job EVER....I guess I have been much in need of a swift kick to the arse as to making this art-thing a career....I was enraged, but felt free...although, having no warning, I also had no cash....
Soon after I went into a nose-dive...worrying about said cash, what the fuck I was doing with my life, etc. (It's been a while since I've felt this way....). Finally I spent the whole day yesterday being self-indulgent, watching t.v. all day and eatin' snack-food...(though I made occasional forays into my room to work on bits of art, or send emails to possible jobs....).

Today I finally decided I need to get a bit of the FRESH (air), and so I sallied forth for what turned out to be a long walk north along the Hudson river....








If I lean out of my livingroom window I can see this lil' red lighthouse....I think it's the one at the end of the movie: INTO THE CUT (it's real good, if you haven't checked it out...Jane Campion), and just past it was this abandoned boat...instantly reminding me of me and SWEET PIXEL'S abandoned house adventures...It's odd seeing this right on the isle of Manhattan, but I had almost forgot I was in NYC while on my walk (walking near any body of water always tends to ground me when I feel scattered)....I even got up close and looked inside for clues...but there wasn't much to detect...








The sun was setting as everyone hurried home to New Jersey, over the George Washington ...Back to their homes, just I was thinking I needed to do...








Passing through the HEIGHTS, talking to my friend Ry-Ry on my celly, I saw that kind of light you get in the summer, starting to show we were moving into warmer times, when the sky just vibrates...My favorite time of day...








My friend RY-RY made me see the light, as he is in the same jobless predicament on the Other coast, that I need to stop seeing this as me being without the security of a job, and more about the limitless choices open to me, who knows what kinds of part-time work I might end up with, and all the free time to pursue my art besides...It's all my choice as to how I see this...Instead of draining myself with worry....
adventure is all around me right now...


When I came home I felt much better, calmer, and plesantly tired...I'm going to sleep much sounder tonight....Thank's RY-RY....and all my friends and family who have helped me with advice lately....